There is little that can
accurately be said about the black life and horrible death of David F. Kuhl.
Most of those who truly knew him were remanded to the care of federal institutions
of mental health shortly after his death, with the two notable exceptions
of his wife and daughter. In the case of the former, her testimony is simply
not credible and cannot be taken seriously. His daughter on the other hand,
while respected by her associates and politically vocal, maintains an iron
silence on the topic of her father. Her only recorded statement regarding
him occurred when she received news of his death, to which she was quoted
saying, "Well, it's a start."
In light of this, and with consideration to the haze of rumor and
hearsay that surrounded his life, it is important to stick to the facts,
few though they be. Reliably then, we can say only the following:
Firstly we must dismiss the rumor that David was a member of the
Ordo Temple Ordis. This is simply untrue. Nor was he ever a member of the
Brotherhood of The Golden Dawn or even the Society of Masons. He was not
born during an eclipse nor did he have any extra digits or organs. His dog's
name was not Satan, and while the beast was noted to have a vile disposition
it has never been shown to be responsible for anyone's death, certainly no
children.
He was not, as has been claimed, present at the Tunguska Blast of
1908, in fact reliable testimony places him in Moldova at this time. Claims
to the effect that he could have traveled between the two points in the time frame given
simply cannot be taken seriously, no matter what Mr. Tesla says.
Numerous students of European history have questioned his role in
the notorious Schleswig-Holstein affair, but no conclusive statements have
yet been given. All parties involved furiously deny that human sacrifice
was involved but refuse to elaborate on the role played by Kuhl, referring
to him only as Herr Vardlokkur.
It is also untrue that he possessed a copy of the Necronomicon of
Abdul Alhazred. Kuhl himself staunchly denied this during his life. That
his claim was ignored by some can be explained by his reputation and by his
frequent caveat that he did in fact possess a copy of "The King In Yellow".
Of course neither of these works was found within his estate following his
death.
As to his death, it has perhaps been one of the greatest sources
of controversy. The exact cause of his demise has never been determined
but is listed under the vague rubrick of "spontaneous human combustion".
Coroner's reports claim the damage to his body was consistent with an electrical
fire, however this is difficult to explain as the cellar in which his remains
were found contained neither wiring nor generator. Some have suggested lightning
as a possible cause, yet again a lightning strike in a cellar is hard to
support. Those explanations which seek to connect his death to the chalk
pentagram in which his body was found are to be considered nothing more than
superstitious and malicious rumor and in extremely poor taste.
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